How to Build Rapport with Any Customer
By Orvin Kimbrough | June 23, 2010
Orvin Kimbrough joined United Way of Greater St. Louis inJanuary 2007 — just in time to battle the effects of the loomingeconomic crisis. Kimbrough, 35, is the senior vice president of major andplanned gifts, handling relationship management for United Way’s200,000 donors in his region. While 2008 charitable giving across organizationsdeclined by 2.4 percent, according to a study byGiving USA Foundation, Kimbrough’s numbers rose, from the $22.44million he helped raise in 2007 (up from $20.98 million in 2006) to $22.92million in 2008. Last year’s numbers are not yet final. But Kimbroughis responsible for bringing in roughly one-third of the $67 million that UnitedWay of Greater St. Louis has recorded so far. Here’s how he does it.
Name: Orvin Kimbrough
Location: St. Louis
What I sell: United Way's mission
Amount raised in 2009: About $22 million
What doesn't work in my field: A lack of authenticity
Orvin Kimbrough, senior VP of major and planned gifts for United Way
I believe in what I’m selling. I just need to tell the story, which is that we help people. I personally connect with the services we support because I grew up in the foster care system and benefited from United Way funds. It gives me a different perspective. When I stand before donors and prospective donors, I speak from a position of strength.
Where it makes sense to do so, I’ll disclose my story. You have to be relatable. One thing we all have in common as human beings is that we were once kids. We learn through stories and love hearing about people who struggled and made it through.
Meet people where they are
The economic climate was tough this year. I was at my desk when I got a call from a family member who wanted to know if he could use my house for storage. I asked why he wanted to do that when he had his own. Turns out he was about to lose his house. Later that day, I was speaking to a group of African American executives — donors and potential donors. Research suggests that African Americans have been disproportionately affected by unemployment. Community and extended family are important to them. When I walked into the room to speak, I heard someone describing an experience similar to the one I’d had with my relative. I decided to tell the group about the phone call I’d just gotten. Your message depends on the audience and the vibe you’re getting. Meet people where they are. Go in with the mindset that no matter what the client’s need is, you’re going to meet it. You want to identify with your audience. Keep your antennae up.
People are entitled to their opinions. If someone isn’t interested in what you’re offering, you can’t expect to change a set belief. But you can ensure that that belief is based on fact. For example, I often hear, “So few resources actually get to the people.” But the United Way of Greater St. Louis has the lowest overhead cost in the U.S. When I demonstrate that we spend just 10 cents of every dollar on overhead, as opposed to the national average of 20 to 40 cents on the dollar, that information is transformative.
It’s about the relationship, not the transaction
Sometimes salespeople don’t seem natural, and people pick up on that lack of authenticity. You’ve got to be guided by the best interests of the people you’re selling to. I’ve had situations where potential donors want to specify a particular charity to receive their donation. I explain that we don’t do that. United Way covers all the bases, funding organizations that people know about and those they don’t. Just because you support one cause, doesn’t make the others less important. I’ve gone on to say that if they are truly that passionate about a single cause, then they should support it instead. And often I’ve had people who appreciate the honesty so much that they’ll choose to donate to United Way in the end. What looks like a missed opportunity turns into a lifelong relationship.
It’s about building rapport. It’s not about the transaction. That’s what gets most of us in trouble.
-As told to Adriana Gardell
http://www.bnet.com/article/how-to-build-rapport-with-any-customer/437943
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
How to Build Trust to Boost Your Sales
How to Build Trust to Boost Your Sales
By Melanie Warner | June 23, 2010
When disgraced auto executives boarded their multi-milliondollar jets and flew to Washington to plead for more government bailout moneyin the fall of 2008, the image of private aircraft took a severe hit. Worriedabout appearing extravagant and equally out of touch, companies scrambled tosell their jets. Despite the industry’s tarnished image, Andrew Mearns,a sales rep for Flexjet, managed to not only sell a few aircraft, but he turnedaround an underperforming region to become Flexjet’s top grossingsales person for 2009. He did it by persuading both companies and wealthyindividuals that owning private aircraft is smart business. “This isnot people having caviar and champagne at 40,000 feet,” says Mearns,who covers the New England and eastern Canada territories for Flexjet. “It’sa way for busy people to maximize their time.”
Name: Andrew Mearns
Location: Boston, MA
What I sell: Whole and fractional private aircraft ownership for Flexjet
Biggest win: Running the flight department of a Fortune 500 manufacturing company
Days of the week spent traveling: 3-4
Andrew Mearns, sales rep for Flexjet
BNET interviewed Andrew about his strategy:
I approach sales like it’s a long-term partnership. I don’t want to be just selling something to somebody — what I want to be is their adviser, their confidant, somebody who’s looking out for their needs in a very real way. It’s really a whole different conversation.
I had an experience in my mid-20’s that was an epiphany in terms of my attitude about sales. This was before I joined Flexjet, when I was an aircraft broker, focused on selling whole corporate jets and helicopters. I was actively marketing a corporate jet and had located a buyer who was ready, willing, and able to move forward with the purchase of the aircraft. But it became clear that the aircraft was more than they needed. Instead of pushing my position, I was honest about the situation and they bought a different, better-suited aircraft.
The lesson came almost two years later when that client decided to upgrade to a bigger, newer aircraft. They remembered what had transpired and asked me to accept the exclusive listing to sell the original aircraft and to simultaneously represent them in the search and acquisition of their next purchase. Two years earlier, I had lost out on a $1 million deal, but I ended up winning two transactions totaling over $7 million. Integrity won in a very big way and I never forgot this lesson.
I’ve actually had clients say things like, “You’re a salesman, aren’t you supposed to be trying to sell me more?” You have to start with honesty to build trust. I’m not trying to gain a one-time win for myself; the goal is a long-term mutually beneficial partnership. On Tuesday, one of my clients wrote me a note that ended with: "And I LOVE Flexjet!!!" This is what I live for.
One of the other things I’ve learned from many years of sales is that face-to-face interaction is critical. On the phone people tend to be in a bit of a hurry.
I can usually get a meeting with prospective clients once I’ve explained how Flexjet can help them be more productive. I try to paint a mental picture of what life can be like after they join our program, so I ask them to: "Imagine if you and your team could conduct three presentations in three different states in one day and still make it home for dinner with your families."
And sometimes we go the extra mile with face-to-face meetings. Last year when we were trying to win the business of a flight department of a large manufacturing company, we invited the whole team to fly down in one of our aircraft to our main operations center in Richardson, TX for the day. We wanted them to meet and talk to all our key operations people so they could collect the data they needed. And they were able to see firsthand what it was like to be a Flexjet customer. After six months of work, we got a several million dollar deal and it’s now one of the largest I support.
Most of our prospective clients do a demonstration flight on one of our aircraft. I always make a point of going to meet them on the outbound leg, so I can personally introduce them to the pilots, show them around the aircraft and encourage them to ask myself and the crew any questions that they can think of.
And yes, I usually fly commercial and coach. I recently came back from meeting a new client for a demonstration flight in Montreal and my flight back to Boston was delayed three hours and it took two hours to get through immigration. It’s a good reminder of the selling points of private aircraft.
— as told to Melanie Warner
http://www.bnet.com/article/how-to-build-trust-to-boost-your-sales/437938
By Melanie Warner | June 23, 2010
When disgraced auto executives boarded their multi-milliondollar jets and flew to Washington to plead for more government bailout moneyin the fall of 2008, the image of private aircraft took a severe hit. Worriedabout appearing extravagant and equally out of touch, companies scrambled tosell their jets. Despite the industry’s tarnished image, Andrew Mearns,a sales rep for Flexjet, managed to not only sell a few aircraft, but he turnedaround an underperforming region to become Flexjet’s top grossingsales person for 2009. He did it by persuading both companies and wealthyindividuals that owning private aircraft is smart business. “This isnot people having caviar and champagne at 40,000 feet,” says Mearns,who covers the New England and eastern Canada territories for Flexjet. “It’sa way for busy people to maximize their time.”
Name: Andrew Mearns
Location: Boston, MA
What I sell: Whole and fractional private aircraft ownership for Flexjet
Biggest win: Running the flight department of a Fortune 500 manufacturing company
Days of the week spent traveling: 3-4
Andrew Mearns, sales rep for Flexjet
BNET interviewed Andrew about his strategy:
I approach sales like it’s a long-term partnership. I don’t want to be just selling something to somebody — what I want to be is their adviser, their confidant, somebody who’s looking out for their needs in a very real way. It’s really a whole different conversation.
I had an experience in my mid-20’s that was an epiphany in terms of my attitude about sales. This was before I joined Flexjet, when I was an aircraft broker, focused on selling whole corporate jets and helicopters. I was actively marketing a corporate jet and had located a buyer who was ready, willing, and able to move forward with the purchase of the aircraft. But it became clear that the aircraft was more than they needed. Instead of pushing my position, I was honest about the situation and they bought a different, better-suited aircraft.
The lesson came almost two years later when that client decided to upgrade to a bigger, newer aircraft. They remembered what had transpired and asked me to accept the exclusive listing to sell the original aircraft and to simultaneously represent them in the search and acquisition of their next purchase. Two years earlier, I had lost out on a $1 million deal, but I ended up winning two transactions totaling over $7 million. Integrity won in a very big way and I never forgot this lesson.
I’ve actually had clients say things like, “You’re a salesman, aren’t you supposed to be trying to sell me more?” You have to start with honesty to build trust. I’m not trying to gain a one-time win for myself; the goal is a long-term mutually beneficial partnership. On Tuesday, one of my clients wrote me a note that ended with: "And I LOVE Flexjet!!!" This is what I live for.
One of the other things I’ve learned from many years of sales is that face-to-face interaction is critical. On the phone people tend to be in a bit of a hurry.
I can usually get a meeting with prospective clients once I’ve explained how Flexjet can help them be more productive. I try to paint a mental picture of what life can be like after they join our program, so I ask them to: "Imagine if you and your team could conduct three presentations in three different states in one day and still make it home for dinner with your families."
And sometimes we go the extra mile with face-to-face meetings. Last year when we were trying to win the business of a flight department of a large manufacturing company, we invited the whole team to fly down in one of our aircraft to our main operations center in Richardson, TX for the day. We wanted them to meet and talk to all our key operations people so they could collect the data they needed. And they were able to see firsthand what it was like to be a Flexjet customer. After six months of work, we got a several million dollar deal and it’s now one of the largest I support.
Most of our prospective clients do a demonstration flight on one of our aircraft. I always make a point of going to meet them on the outbound leg, so I can personally introduce them to the pilots, show them around the aircraft and encourage them to ask myself and the crew any questions that they can think of.
And yes, I usually fly commercial and coach. I recently came back from meeting a new client for a demonstration flight in Montreal and my flight back to Boston was delayed three hours and it took two hours to get through immigration. It’s a good reminder of the selling points of private aircraft.
— as told to Melanie Warner
http://www.bnet.com/article/how-to-build-trust-to-boost-your-sales/437938
How to Get Sales Referrals to Do the Work for You
How to Get Sales Referrals to Do the Work for You
By Steve Kaneski | June 23, 2010
When people are worried about job security and next month’smortgage payment, it’s not easy getting them to think about whatmight happen 10 or 20 years down the road. But that’s Steve Kaneski’sjob. As an agent for New York Life for over 20 years, he sells life insurance,annuities, and other long-term investments to clients, mostly doctors, in theSacramento area. And despite a 15 percent drop in the individual life insurancemarket in 2009, Kaneski’s business is booming. For2008, Kaneski, who works with six assistants and three associate brokers, soldmore insurance and financial products than any of New York Life’s11,000 brokers, racking up hundreds of millions of dollars in insuranceproducts and tens of millions of dollars in securities.
Name: Steve Kaneski
Location: Roseville, CA
What I sell: Life insurance and financial products forNY Life
Toughest thing about my job: Getting people to focus onlife and death issues — something no one likes to talk about.
Number of prospects I see in myoffice every week: 15-20
Steve Kaneski of New York Life
There’s no doubt that this is a difficult environment. While all of my physician clients are still employed, people are uncertain and they are all very nervous about the healthcare bill and how all of the cost containment measures might affect them. So I’m working more hours and answering a lot more questions. And this resulted in a great 2009 for my firm, as I was able to do over 300 cases, while the industry average is around 30. And for the first quarter of 2010, we were up 40 percent over last year.
A system for everything
I see clients face to face two to four times a year for meaningful reviews. I also send out newsletters six times a year and do targeted seasonal cards. And I make myself available, working three evenings a week and every other Saturday.
Many financial advisers say that they meet with their clients frequently, but most don’t have the systems and processes in place to make it happen. We do 4 or 5 appointments a day.
To make sure I’m spending enough time with clients, I’ve systematized everything I do. In our first meeting I invest a lot of time in fact-finding to determine what their goals and priorities are, since life insurance is one of the most personal decisions a person can make. I do an analysis of everything they’ve shared with us, then have a second appointment where we discuss strategies and options. Then we do a finishing appointment, where we answer questions and review what we have accomplished. Each one of these meetings often lasts two hours. This is significantly more time than clients are going to get with most financial services reps.
Referrals are the key to any business, so you want to have a lot of interactions with your clients so that you’re the guy always on the tip of their tongue, the person they go to with any insurance or financial issues. This not only helps retain clients, but they are more likely to refer me to their friends and family. Great salespeople get referrals without asking for them.
Weed out the wrong clients
To me, one of the most overlooked secrets for being successful in sales is having the right clients. Early in my career I started working with doctors because they are smart and, having gone through years of schooling, understand delayed gratification, which is what retirement planning is all about. To find these clients, we do a series of educational seminars about goal setting, retirement and tax-favored investments, estate planning, and proper allocation. I don’t mention or sell any products. Instead it’s about giving people time-tested information, and it’s a weeding out process to attract people who are motivated to act.
If people don’t have what I call “character,” then I don’t work with them. I have a silly, but effective way of finding this out. I ask them, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being very important, how much do you want your partner’s hopes and dreams to be protected if something were to happen suddenly?” If their answer is less than a 6, then they don’t have the motivation I’m looking for. I can try to get them to see the benefits of life insurance, but if they truly don’t care what happens to their family after they’re gone, then that’s not a person I want as aclient.
When you work with people of character, you can have honest and sometimes difficult conversations with them about what’s important. I had a trauma surgeon in the office for a first appointment recently. He makes $450,000 a year, and for years he’d been carrying $500,000 of life insurance through another rep. This means that if he should pass, his wife would have just one year’s worth of life insurance to cover the mortgage, the student loan debt and to care for their young children. I had to tell him that he was clearly underinsured, which is hard because it implies he is either operating under a misconception or purposefully avoiding this issue. Since he identified himself as an 8, we were able to move forward and now he has $5 million of insurance coverage.
-As told to Melanie Warner
http://www.bnet.com/article/how-to-get-sales-referrals-to-do-the-work-for-you/437940
By Steve Kaneski | June 23, 2010
When people are worried about job security and next month’smortgage payment, it’s not easy getting them to think about whatmight happen 10 or 20 years down the road. But that’s Steve Kaneski’sjob. As an agent for New York Life for over 20 years, he sells life insurance,annuities, and other long-term investments to clients, mostly doctors, in theSacramento area. And despite a 15 percent drop in the individual life insurancemarket in 2009, Kaneski’s business is booming. For2008, Kaneski, who works with six assistants and three associate brokers, soldmore insurance and financial products than any of New York Life’s11,000 brokers, racking up hundreds of millions of dollars in insuranceproducts and tens of millions of dollars in securities.
Name: Steve Kaneski
Location: Roseville, CA
What I sell: Life insurance and financial products forNY Life
Toughest thing about my job: Getting people to focus onlife and death issues — something no one likes to talk about.
Number of prospects I see in myoffice every week: 15-20
Steve Kaneski of New York Life
There’s no doubt that this is a difficult environment. While all of my physician clients are still employed, people are uncertain and they are all very nervous about the healthcare bill and how all of the cost containment measures might affect them. So I’m working more hours and answering a lot more questions. And this resulted in a great 2009 for my firm, as I was able to do over 300 cases, while the industry average is around 30. And for the first quarter of 2010, we were up 40 percent over last year.
A system for everything
I see clients face to face two to four times a year for meaningful reviews. I also send out newsletters six times a year and do targeted seasonal cards. And I make myself available, working three evenings a week and every other Saturday.
Many financial advisers say that they meet with their clients frequently, but most don’t have the systems and processes in place to make it happen. We do 4 or 5 appointments a day.
To make sure I’m spending enough time with clients, I’ve systematized everything I do. In our first meeting I invest a lot of time in fact-finding to determine what their goals and priorities are, since life insurance is one of the most personal decisions a person can make. I do an analysis of everything they’ve shared with us, then have a second appointment where we discuss strategies and options. Then we do a finishing appointment, where we answer questions and review what we have accomplished. Each one of these meetings often lasts two hours. This is significantly more time than clients are going to get with most financial services reps.
Referrals are the key to any business, so you want to have a lot of interactions with your clients so that you’re the guy always on the tip of their tongue, the person they go to with any insurance or financial issues. This not only helps retain clients, but they are more likely to refer me to their friends and family. Great salespeople get referrals without asking for them.
Weed out the wrong clients
To me, one of the most overlooked secrets for being successful in sales is having the right clients. Early in my career I started working with doctors because they are smart and, having gone through years of schooling, understand delayed gratification, which is what retirement planning is all about. To find these clients, we do a series of educational seminars about goal setting, retirement and tax-favored investments, estate planning, and proper allocation. I don’t mention or sell any products. Instead it’s about giving people time-tested information, and it’s a weeding out process to attract people who are motivated to act.
If people don’t have what I call “character,” then I don’t work with them. I have a silly, but effective way of finding this out. I ask them, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being very important, how much do you want your partner’s hopes and dreams to be protected if something were to happen suddenly?” If their answer is less than a 6, then they don’t have the motivation I’m looking for. I can try to get them to see the benefits of life insurance, but if they truly don’t care what happens to their family after they’re gone, then that’s not a person I want as aclient.
When you work with people of character, you can have honest and sometimes difficult conversations with them about what’s important. I had a trauma surgeon in the office for a first appointment recently. He makes $450,000 a year, and for years he’d been carrying $500,000 of life insurance through another rep. This means that if he should pass, his wife would have just one year’s worth of life insurance to cover the mortgage, the student loan debt and to care for their young children. I had to tell him that he was clearly underinsured, which is hard because it implies he is either operating under a misconception or purposefully avoiding this issue. Since he identified himself as an 8, we were able to move forward and now he has $5 million of insurance coverage.
-As told to Melanie Warner
http://www.bnet.com/article/how-to-get-sales-referrals-to-do-the-work-for-you/437940
How to Persuade the Reluctant Buyer
How to Persuade the Reluctant Buyer
By Faith Hope Consolo | June 23, 2010
Known as the "Queen of Retail," broker FaithHope Consolo discovered a niche — finding the perfect store locationsfor national and international luxury retailers — and built it toregal proportions. In 2005, Prudential Douglas Elliman Real Estate established its retail leasing and salesdivision exclusively for her. She has been the company’s top brokerfor the past two years in a row, despite precipitous declines of 50 percent ormore in the commercial and retail leasing and sales industry.
Name: Faith Hope Consolo
Location: Based in New York
What I sell: Commercial real estate space to luxury retailers
2009 sales: $222 million (aggregate)
Prudential broker Faith Hope Consolo
I am not driven by the dollar. It’s the deal for me — making the transactions and bringing the right retailer to the right street, whether that is New York or Chicago, San Francisco or Los Angeles or Palm Beach. It’s like putting the right piece into a puzzle.
When I was first starting out in the late 80s, my mentor Lloyd Putter taught me how to canvass in the streets and how to look at space. He said, “You will call all the stores you have ever shopped in and ask them about expanding,” and that is exactly what I did — no computer, no research. My first client was Godiva. I called the chairman and said, “Don’t you think you should expand in New York?” He said, “That’s ironic. We are just thinking of this now.” Three months later I found a 1,000 square foot space across the street from the Waldorf Astoria. Godiva is still there today.
Keeping the Pulse
One advantage I have is that I have been through three downturns before. With each one, it is all about knowing the trends. You have to figure out which retailers are pulling back and which ones are expanding.
When we had a dip in the late 1990s, there was a real focus on affordable fashion. So we had to go to Europe to look for clients, and we brought Benetton to Manhattan and then came H&M and Zara. During the recent downturn, we aggressively went out and put smaller retailers, like Variazione, and local mom and pops in spaces that made sense, for example on Madison Avenue, where they had been shut out before by the nationals and internationals, who are being very cautious now.
Last year, I did double the transactions of the year before to keep up with the dollar volume. It is work, work, and hard work. I am constantly looking for changes. Especially in New York, you have to go to a neighborhood every week, to keep the pulse, or you can’t do this job. I’m looking for street life, for new people moving in, and the types of people that make up a neighborhood — young families, young singles, established families, etc. That way I’ll know what they need. We’ve all seen how demographics can change rapidly.
“No” Is Never Really “No”
Listening is one of those key things that brokers don’t do enough of in sales: They don’t listen to their customers and they don’t listen to the market, and that is frightening. You have to be able to identify everybody’s interests. I have very good listening skills, which helps me tremendously — that, and I don’t believe in “no.” There’s always a way to change a “no” into a “yes.”
You get past the biggest objections with persistence. In 1996, I received a call from the chairman of Cartier, who said he had a very confidential assignment for me: Contrary to what most people thought, the company didn’t own the Cartier Mansion on 52nd and Fifth — it leased the building. The problem was, the lease was expiring in three years and Cartier had an adversarial relationship with the owner, the Onassis Foundation.
After several spirited meetings at the Foundation’s office (one of the principals even jumped up on a table to scream at me), I went back to Cartier and told them the deal wouldn’t get done in New York. We had to go to Greece and meet with the board of the Onassis Foundation personally. When we got there, we spent only about two hours a day on business and the rest on social breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. After two days of this, I took one of the foundation heads aside and said, “This is a long-term relationship; it’s not just about money. Let’s make this work, Cartier is a good fit for you.” It was a huge deal, not only because I kept Cartier’s image intact, but then the Onassis Foundation retained me to be their adviser for all of its lease renewals on rest of the block.
I am very lucky to love what I do. This is my passion.
-As told to Jeremy Quittner
More Gods of Sales:
The King of Referrals
The Trusted Adviser
The Rapport Builder
The Patient Pitchman
The Master Storyteller
http://www.bnet.com/article/how-to-persuade-the-reluctant-buyer/438002?tag=content;drawer-container
By Faith Hope Consolo | June 23, 2010
Known as the "Queen of Retail," broker FaithHope Consolo discovered a niche — finding the perfect store locationsfor national and international luxury retailers — and built it toregal proportions. In 2005, Prudential Douglas Elliman Real Estate established its retail leasing and salesdivision exclusively for her. She has been the company’s top brokerfor the past two years in a row, despite precipitous declines of 50 percent ormore in the commercial and retail leasing and sales industry.
Name: Faith Hope Consolo
Location: Based in New York
What I sell: Commercial real estate space to luxury retailers
2009 sales: $222 million (aggregate)
Prudential broker Faith Hope Consolo
I am not driven by the dollar. It’s the deal for me — making the transactions and bringing the right retailer to the right street, whether that is New York or Chicago, San Francisco or Los Angeles or Palm Beach. It’s like putting the right piece into a puzzle.
When I was first starting out in the late 80s, my mentor Lloyd Putter taught me how to canvass in the streets and how to look at space. He said, “You will call all the stores you have ever shopped in and ask them about expanding,” and that is exactly what I did — no computer, no research. My first client was Godiva. I called the chairman and said, “Don’t you think you should expand in New York?” He said, “That’s ironic. We are just thinking of this now.” Three months later I found a 1,000 square foot space across the street from the Waldorf Astoria. Godiva is still there today.
Keeping the Pulse
One advantage I have is that I have been through three downturns before. With each one, it is all about knowing the trends. You have to figure out which retailers are pulling back and which ones are expanding.
When we had a dip in the late 1990s, there was a real focus on affordable fashion. So we had to go to Europe to look for clients, and we brought Benetton to Manhattan and then came H&M and Zara. During the recent downturn, we aggressively went out and put smaller retailers, like Variazione, and local mom and pops in spaces that made sense, for example on Madison Avenue, where they had been shut out before by the nationals and internationals, who are being very cautious now.
Last year, I did double the transactions of the year before to keep up with the dollar volume. It is work, work, and hard work. I am constantly looking for changes. Especially in New York, you have to go to a neighborhood every week, to keep the pulse, or you can’t do this job. I’m looking for street life, for new people moving in, and the types of people that make up a neighborhood — young families, young singles, established families, etc. That way I’ll know what they need. We’ve all seen how demographics can change rapidly.
“No” Is Never Really “No”
Listening is one of those key things that brokers don’t do enough of in sales: They don’t listen to their customers and they don’t listen to the market, and that is frightening. You have to be able to identify everybody’s interests. I have very good listening skills, which helps me tremendously — that, and I don’t believe in “no.” There’s always a way to change a “no” into a “yes.”
You get past the biggest objections with persistence. In 1996, I received a call from the chairman of Cartier, who said he had a very confidential assignment for me: Contrary to what most people thought, the company didn’t own the Cartier Mansion on 52nd and Fifth — it leased the building. The problem was, the lease was expiring in three years and Cartier had an adversarial relationship with the owner, the Onassis Foundation.
After several spirited meetings at the Foundation’s office (one of the principals even jumped up on a table to scream at me), I went back to Cartier and told them the deal wouldn’t get done in New York. We had to go to Greece and meet with the board of the Onassis Foundation personally. When we got there, we spent only about two hours a day on business and the rest on social breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. After two days of this, I took one of the foundation heads aside and said, “This is a long-term relationship; it’s not just about money. Let’s make this work, Cartier is a good fit for you.” It was a huge deal, not only because I kept Cartier’s image intact, but then the Onassis Foundation retained me to be their adviser for all of its lease renewals on rest of the block.
I am very lucky to love what I do. This is my passion.
-As told to Jeremy Quittner
More Gods of Sales:
The King of Referrals
The Trusted Adviser
The Rapport Builder
The Patient Pitchman
The Master Storyteller
http://www.bnet.com/article/how-to-persuade-the-reluctant-buyer/438002?tag=content;drawer-container
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions: 5 Tips for Improving Your Money Resolutions by THURSDAY BRAM ·
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The new year is getting close. In the next month or so, many of us are going to be considering a resolution or two to start off 2011 a little better than we’re ending 2010. Most resolutions revolve around three topics: improving your health, improving your happiness and improving your finances. It’s very easy to make resolutions about money, but keeping those resolutions can be just as difficult as trying out a new diet. There are some ways to make the process a little easier.
1. Make Your Resolution As Automatic As Possible
The more you have to think about keeping your resolutions, the more opportunities there are to trip up. If you can make them automatic, it’s much easier to keep up with those resolutions. Luckily, with many financial resolutions there are tools that make automation a simple matter. For example, you can create an automatic transfer from your checking account to your savings account if you want to save money over the course of the year for a certain goal. All you have to do then is check in with your bank account regularly to make sure that you won’t overdraft.
Take a look at your goals before you jump into the new year and see where you can make the process automatic and painless. Whether you can make the whole thing automatic will depend on your resolution (and possibly on your financial habits), but if you can only make part of caring out your resolution automatic, it will still help you keep to your goals.
2. Double Check for Realistic Goals
A common issue with resolutions is that it’s easy to set a big goal — but much harder to actually reach those goals. Run the numbers on what you want to do. It’s okay if you will have to stretch — a resolution that’s easy to keep isn’t much of a resolution — but you should be able to actually meet your goal. If even stretching isn’t going to even get you within reaching distance of your goal, scaling down a little makes sense.
You may have goals that you can reach in a couple of ways. If you’re setting aside money, for instance, you can reduce your spending or earn more money. Take those alternative options into account when checking if your resolutions will be attainable. After all, your impossible resolution may be very doable once you combine all the options available to you.
3. Break Down Daily Expectations
Especially if your resolution is going to require a stretch, breaking down exactly what you need to do every day can be a big help. What’s the minimum you need to do daily to reach your goal? Is there a certain amount of money you have to save every 24 hours in order to meet the final total? Writing that down and putting it somewhere you’ll see every day can help keep you on track.
Most big resolutions fail because it’s not just enough to say ‘I’m going to build up an emergency fund of $5,000.’ You have to have a path to get to that end result — and for something that big, that means chipping away at it a little each day.
4. Have an End Point, If You Can
Open-ended resolutions are tough to fulfill. Telling yourself you’re going to cut your spending to a certain point indefinitely means that there’s no relief in sight. It’s much easier to hold out and complete a project when you can see the end — telling yourself that success is only a tiny bit farther away is a great motivator. There’s a similar concern with diets. Many people make resolutions regarding their diets but don’t offer themselves an end point or a relief valve. After doing something unenjoyable, like sticking to a diet, for weeks at a time, you may need a break, even if it’s just a little one.
Give yourself something to look forward to, and it doesn’t even have to be a direct reward. Your feelings of accomplishment may be enough, but if you don’t have a way of knowing that you’ve reached your goal, it can be tough to feel like you accomplished anything. You need an end point to your resolution to be able to know if you stuck to it.
5. Start Your Resolution Today
When you think about it, the first of January is an arbitrary date to make a change in your life. If you’re thinking about your resolutions for the new year now, you might as well start them immediately. At the very least, you’ll have some time to figure out what’s working and what’s not with the strategies you use to transform that resolution to reality. At the best, you can avoid one of the biggest problems with the entire concept of a new year’s resolution. Think about how a resolution for a new diet works: the resolution gets made at the end of a month filled with parties, eating poorly and generally bad habits. Breaking out of those bad habits after spending a month reinforcing them is incredibly difficult, setting many people up for failure.
Many of us face similar problems with financial resolutions. If you give gifts in December, the odds are good that you’ve screwed up your budget a bit at some point or otherwise engaged in some poor financial behavior. That makes starting a new resolution that much harder in January. If you can get your resolution started now and keep it through December, your resolution might become a habit and the beginning of the new year hasn’t even arrived yet.
Tagged as: Better Yourself
Related Posts
How to Set Financial Goals for the New Year
5 Financial Resolutions You Can Actually Keep
Drop Pounds, Not Dollars with Your Gym Memberships
Getting to Know Kevin at No Debt Plan
Act on the Personal Finance Advice You Get: Make Reading Worthwhile
Subscribe! (and Get a Mini-Course Too!)
Please consider following me on twitter here! In addition, subscribe to grab free amazing content or take advantage of the newsletter to have content delivered to you. For starters, a 7-part mini course to help you spend less and be happy will be delivered to you when you subscribe!
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The new year is getting close. In the next month or so, many of us are going to be considering a resolution or two to start off 2011 a little better than we’re ending 2010. Most resolutions revolve around three topics: improving your health, improving your happiness and improving your finances. It’s very easy to make resolutions about money, but keeping those resolutions can be just as difficult as trying out a new diet. There are some ways to make the process a little easier.
1. Make Your Resolution As Automatic As Possible
The more you have to think about keeping your resolutions, the more opportunities there are to trip up. If you can make them automatic, it’s much easier to keep up with those resolutions. Luckily, with many financial resolutions there are tools that make automation a simple matter. For example, you can create an automatic transfer from your checking account to your savings account if you want to save money over the course of the year for a certain goal. All you have to do then is check in with your bank account regularly to make sure that you won’t overdraft.
Take a look at your goals before you jump into the new year and see where you can make the process automatic and painless. Whether you can make the whole thing automatic will depend on your resolution (and possibly on your financial habits), but if you can only make part of caring out your resolution automatic, it will still help you keep to your goals.
2. Double Check for Realistic Goals
A common issue with resolutions is that it’s easy to set a big goal — but much harder to actually reach those goals. Run the numbers on what you want to do. It’s okay if you will have to stretch — a resolution that’s easy to keep isn’t much of a resolution — but you should be able to actually meet your goal. If even stretching isn’t going to even get you within reaching distance of your goal, scaling down a little makes sense.
You may have goals that you can reach in a couple of ways. If you’re setting aside money, for instance, you can reduce your spending or earn more money. Take those alternative options into account when checking if your resolutions will be attainable. After all, your impossible resolution may be very doable once you combine all the options available to you.
3. Break Down Daily Expectations
Especially if your resolution is going to require a stretch, breaking down exactly what you need to do every day can be a big help. What’s the minimum you need to do daily to reach your goal? Is there a certain amount of money you have to save every 24 hours in order to meet the final total? Writing that down and putting it somewhere you’ll see every day can help keep you on track.
Most big resolutions fail because it’s not just enough to say ‘I’m going to build up an emergency fund of $5,000.’ You have to have a path to get to that end result — and for something that big, that means chipping away at it a little each day.
4. Have an End Point, If You Can
Open-ended resolutions are tough to fulfill. Telling yourself you’re going to cut your spending to a certain point indefinitely means that there’s no relief in sight. It’s much easier to hold out and complete a project when you can see the end — telling yourself that success is only a tiny bit farther away is a great motivator. There’s a similar concern with diets. Many people make resolutions regarding their diets but don’t offer themselves an end point or a relief valve. After doing something unenjoyable, like sticking to a diet, for weeks at a time, you may need a break, even if it’s just a little one.
Give yourself something to look forward to, and it doesn’t even have to be a direct reward. Your feelings of accomplishment may be enough, but if you don’t have a way of knowing that you’ve reached your goal, it can be tough to feel like you accomplished anything. You need an end point to your resolution to be able to know if you stuck to it.
5. Start Your Resolution Today
When you think about it, the first of January is an arbitrary date to make a change in your life. If you’re thinking about your resolutions for the new year now, you might as well start them immediately. At the very least, you’ll have some time to figure out what’s working and what’s not with the strategies you use to transform that resolution to reality. At the best, you can avoid one of the biggest problems with the entire concept of a new year’s resolution. Think about how a resolution for a new diet works: the resolution gets made at the end of a month filled with parties, eating poorly and generally bad habits. Breaking out of those bad habits after spending a month reinforcing them is incredibly difficult, setting many people up for failure.
Many of us face similar problems with financial resolutions. If you give gifts in December, the odds are good that you’ve screwed up your budget a bit at some point or otherwise engaged in some poor financial behavior. That makes starting a new resolution that much harder in January. If you can get your resolution started now and keep it through December, your resolution might become a habit and the beginning of the new year hasn’t even arrived yet.
Tagged as: Better Yourself
Related Posts
How to Set Financial Goals for the New Year
5 Financial Resolutions You Can Actually Keep
Drop Pounds, Not Dollars with Your Gym Memberships
Getting to Know Kevin at No Debt Plan
Act on the Personal Finance Advice You Get: Make Reading Worthwhile
Subscribe! (and Get a Mini-Course Too!)
Please consider following me on twitter here! In addition, subscribe to grab free amazing content or take advantage of the newsletter to have content delivered to you. For starters, a 7-part mini course to help you spend less and be happy will be delivered to you when you subscribe!
(Don't worry about spam, because we hate it as much as you do!)
How to Break Bad Habits
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Our habits may be based on our core principles, but the surrounding elements will often change them on a daily basis. Be it frugality, way of life or our morals, people around us slowly change our behaviors in a big way.
When we were young, our parents help shape our values by setting examples. Once school started, we start learning from our friends and classmates. Then as we grow older, the sum of our experiences act as the ultimate trial and error experiment that forms our habits.
Do you have spending problems that cannot seem to be controlled?
Are you always in a rut and can’t seem to be able to get out?
Do you want to increase your motivation to do better?
If you want to break your bad habits, you should surround yourself with people who don’t have that habit in question.
My Spending Buddy
One of our friends came to visit us for a few days and let me tell you why he’s special. Every time he comes over, both of us end up buying something we otherwise wouldn’t have bought. There’s a tiny portion of peer pressure involved, but it’s mostly because we fuel each other’s enthusiasm when we talk about our shopping wish list. We seem to like the same stuff, and we get excited every time we discuss why we should make another purchase. We laugh about it, because the stuff we buy are affordable but you can see how it could potentially get out of control.
Mentoring without Knowledge
There are a few people I always have lunch with. I cherish their friendship, but more importantly, they unknowingly helped build the foundation that shaped the success I’ve accomplished to date. There’s no specific examples, but the questions they ask, the way they act and the attitude they portray all stimulate my mind and improve me in every way.
The Frugality in Me
If my parents never cared about money, it would be very difficult for me to develop my frugal habits. If Emma thinks of nothing but the next hand bag she wants to buy, it will tempt me to buy everything I ever wanted without regard to finances as well.
What I’m Trying to Say
The people closest to you will always affect how you think and act. If you want to save money, hanging around the wealthy won’t help. If you want to climb up the corporate ladder, start communicating with upper management more often. If you want to have a better relationship, make friends with people who seem to be loved by everyone around them.
Our behaviors are shaped by people we are closed to. The good news is that there’s always ways to improve. Evaluate, come up with a plan and take action. It works every time.
Tagged as: Better Yourself
Related Posts
MoneyNing is on Break Today
Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions: 5 Tips for Improving Your Money Resolutions
5 Tax Breaks for Year End Tax Planning in 2010
Motivation Monday – Everyone Slacks Off
Places to Think About Money
Subscribe! (and Get a Mini-Course Too!)
Please consider following me on twitter here! In addition, subscribe to grab free amazing content or take advantage of the newsletter to have content delivered to you. For starters, a 7-part mini course to help you spend less and be happy will be delivered to you when you subscribe!
(Don't worry about spam, because we hate it as much as you do!)
Share
Our habits may be based on our core principles, but the surrounding elements will often change them on a daily basis. Be it frugality, way of life or our morals, people around us slowly change our behaviors in a big way.
When we were young, our parents help shape our values by setting examples. Once school started, we start learning from our friends and classmates. Then as we grow older, the sum of our experiences act as the ultimate trial and error experiment that forms our habits.
Do you have spending problems that cannot seem to be controlled?
Are you always in a rut and can’t seem to be able to get out?
Do you want to increase your motivation to do better?
If you want to break your bad habits, you should surround yourself with people who don’t have that habit in question.
My Spending Buddy
One of our friends came to visit us for a few days and let me tell you why he’s special. Every time he comes over, both of us end up buying something we otherwise wouldn’t have bought. There’s a tiny portion of peer pressure involved, but it’s mostly because we fuel each other’s enthusiasm when we talk about our shopping wish list. We seem to like the same stuff, and we get excited every time we discuss why we should make another purchase. We laugh about it, because the stuff we buy are affordable but you can see how it could potentially get out of control.
Mentoring without Knowledge
There are a few people I always have lunch with. I cherish their friendship, but more importantly, they unknowingly helped build the foundation that shaped the success I’ve accomplished to date. There’s no specific examples, but the questions they ask, the way they act and the attitude they portray all stimulate my mind and improve me in every way.
The Frugality in Me
If my parents never cared about money, it would be very difficult for me to develop my frugal habits. If Emma thinks of nothing but the next hand bag she wants to buy, it will tempt me to buy everything I ever wanted without regard to finances as well.
What I’m Trying to Say
The people closest to you will always affect how you think and act. If you want to save money, hanging around the wealthy won’t help. If you want to climb up the corporate ladder, start communicating with upper management more often. If you want to have a better relationship, make friends with people who seem to be loved by everyone around them.
Our behaviors are shaped by people we are closed to. The good news is that there’s always ways to improve. Evaluate, come up with a plan and take action. It works every time.
Tagged as: Better Yourself
Related Posts
MoneyNing is on Break Today
Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions: 5 Tips for Improving Your Money Resolutions
5 Tax Breaks for Year End Tax Planning in 2010
Motivation Monday – Everyone Slacks Off
Places to Think About Money
Subscribe! (and Get a Mini-Course Too!)
Please consider following me on twitter here! In addition, subscribe to grab free amazing content or take advantage of the newsletter to have content delivered to you. For starters, a 7-part mini course to help you spend less and be happy will be delivered to you when you subscribe!
(Don't worry about spam, because we hate it as much as you do!)
7 Habits of Frugality
7 Habits of Highly Frugal People
by GUEST CONTRIBUTOR · 332 COMMENTS
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The book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has sold over 15 million copies since it was first published in 1989, teaching people all over the world how to live a happier, more successful and more satisfying life. One of the prevailing themes of the book is the fact that to change your life you need to change your attitude because no one else is responsible for what happens to you but you, so you can either complain about the things you don’t like in your life or you can set about changing them. Not surprisingly, this directly relates to the state of your finances.
If you are tired of living week to week, of having your phone regularly cut off or having to make excuses to skip dinners with your friends if the money has run out before the end of the month then you can use the seven habits of highly effective people to take control of your money situation and live a more frugal lifestyle, and a happier one.
Habit One: Be Proactive
The first habits of highly effective people is to take responsibility for your life, there is no one else to blame but yourself. Regardless of how you were raised or how you were treated at school you are able to choose your behavior now. Being proactive means understanding that you are in control of the direction your life takes and in control of your day to day interactions. Whereas a reactive person is often affected by their environment and will find external sources to blame for their behavior, for example if the weather is good they are in a good mood but if the weather is bad it affects their attitude and so the weather is to blame for their bad mood.
However what most people forget is that between the stimulus and your response is your freedom to choose your response, and one of the most important things you choose are your words. The language you use is an effective indication of how you see yourself and if you use proactive language such as ‘I can’ or ‘I will’ you are starting with a more positive attitude than a reactive person who uses language like ‘I can’t’ or ‘I have to’ or ‘if only…’
How to be proactive for effective frugality:
Take the first step. You cannot take control of your finances until you make the commitment to do so because the more you ignore the situation the worse it will get. Instead take a long hard look at your finances and your budget, your debts, income and expenses and understand where your money is going and where you can budget better.
Tell people. Using proactive language to vocalize your goal of being more frugal and more financially responsible not only helps you crystallize your goal but can also help you avoid the peer pressure which can make budgeting and frugality hard. If you explain to your friends and family how you are trying to live a more frugal lifestyle then they are less likely to pressure you into one more round of drinks at the pub or dinner out, again.
Listen. Listen to yourself and listen to the reasons you give each time you make a purchase outside of your budget or decide not to put those spare funds into your savings account. Taking the time to stop and listen to the reasons you give yourself for spending more than you earn will give you the opportunity to hear just how shallow many of those reasons are, and can stop you from making purchases which can impede your goal of effective frugality.
Habit Two: Begin with the End in Mind
Those who are effective in achieving their goals are able to envisage their end result despite the obstacles. Highly effective people adhere to this habit based on the principle that all things are created twice, there is the first mental creation and then the second physical creation, and the physical creation follows the mental creation in the same way as the building follows its blueprints.
If you don’t visualize what you want out of life then you are at risk of other people and external circumstances influencing your life because you are not influencing it yourself. Instead begin every day and every task with a clear vision of where you want to go and how you’re going to get there and make that vision a reality with your proactive skills from habit one.
How to visualize effective frugality:
Define your goal. There are many ways to live a frugal lifestyle and you need to decide on how frugal you want to be. Do you want to be debt free, do you want to build a savings account balance of a certain value or do you want to be able to live on one income in a two income household?
Decide how you’re going to get there. This will again draw on your budget, but you also need to be aware of the obstacles which are standing in your way. These may be literal obstacles such as credit card debts, or they may be obstacles you have identified in your behavior; for example are you spending $10 every day on junk food on your way home from work because you’re starving when you could be packing a two dollar muesli bar or a low GI lunch to keep you going until dinner. Or do you find that when you go shopping with your sister she always helps you justify a frivolous purchase when you could leave your credit card at home.
Habit Three: Put First Things First
Knowing why you are doing something is an effective motivator in helping you take the mental creation and transform that into an actual physical creation of your goal. Therefore ask yourself which are the things you find most valuable and worthy to you. When you put these things first you will be organizing and managing your time around your personal priorities to make them a reality.
However for many people it is hard to say no but this is exactly the skill you have to learn to be able to keep your goals as your first priority. While we have all of these time-saving devices and we are told we can have it all if we just achieve that elusive work-life balance in reality having it all is really about prioritizing which it is most important to you to have, and then doing that properly.
How to put effective frugality first:
Recognize the effects of your finances. You may not dedicate as much time as you should to managing your finances and practicing frugal principles because you feel there is always something more important to be doing, whether it is work, taking the kids to soccer practice or getting ready for dinner with the girls. However if your finances are not under control and you are regularly spending more than you earn then this is having a negative impact on every other aspect of your life from your work to your family to your friends. Therefore you need to recognize that being frugal is your first priority.
Just say no. It is easy to spend more than your budgeted amount each month when you are worried about missing out on a dinner with friends, feel as though you have to cater a birthday party for your son and 50 of his closest friends or you can’t possibly wear the same suit you wore last year to a work conference. However if you recognize that you don’t have to take on everything and that it is all right to say no then you will find you are more in control of your spending and your budget.
Habit Four: Think Win-Win
Growing up most of us are taught to base our self-worth on comparisons to others and competition against our peers. We think we can only succeed if someone else has failed and if you win then that must mean I lose, and that there is only so much pie to go around and if you get a big piece then I’m going to be missing out. When you think like this you are always going to feel like you’re missing out on something and that’s not fair is it? As a result many of us retaliate and take the pie before someone else can take it from us.
Thinking in a win-win mindset allows you to see mutual benefits from all of your interactions and as a result you will see that when you share the pie it tastes even better. If you are able to approach conflicts and problems with a win-win attitude then by showing integrity and standing up for your true feelings and values allows you to express your ideas and feelings with courage while having consideration for the feelings and ideas of others. When you focus on an abundance mentality you are able to see that there is enough for everyone and you can see that balancing your confidence with empathy you can achieve your goals while helping others achieve theirs.
How to create frugal win-win situations:
Recognize that you don’t always know the full story. As you aim to implement frugal principles and stick to a budget you may often find yourself thinking ‘it’s not fair’. It’s not fair that they get to go out to dinner it’s not fair that they get a new car it’s not fair that they get to go on holiday and I don’t. However take the time to realize that you are only seeing a small part of the finances of your friends and family who seem to ‘have it all’ and that even though your best friend is taking the European holiday which was your dream or your brother is buying a sports car before you are, if you manage your finances frugally you will get there too and there will still be plenty of holiday destinations and plenty of fast cars when you do.
Understand the difference between possessions and net worth. While your friends and family may seem to have a fuller lifestyle because their house is bigger or their car is newer you need to consider how much debt they are hiding behind those possessions. True wealth is not measured in possessions but in assets and when the value of your assets is greater than the amount you owe in mortgages, car loans and credit card debts then you have a strong net worth and are truly wealthy and in aiming to live a more effectively frugal lifestyle you will be able to achieve true wealth rather than just a life full of stuff.
Habit Five: Communication
Communication is often the desire to be heard and understood and most people will listen with the intention to reply to what you’re saying rather than to understand what you have said. However to effectively communicate you need to first understand and then be understood because if you communicate with the sole intention of being understood you can find that you ignore what others are saying and miss their meaning entirely.
How listening can help you be effectively frugal:
You are not the only person in your life. Chances are you are married, in a relationship, have children or all of the above. As a result you are not the only person being affected by your decision to live a more frugal lifestyle and to be effective in your goal of frugality you need to be able to listen to and understand the goals and behaviors of the other people in your life. For example consider how effective your frugality would be if you were taking packed lunches to work and avoiding the afternoon coffee run but your partner was still going shopping in their lunch break; instead of living a more frugal lifestyle you are just ending up with more stuff.
Understand the goals and needs of others. While it is important to explain your desire to live more frugal lifestyle, it is also important that you understand the goals and needs of your family so that you can find a way to be more frugal without them having to give up all of the things which are most important to them and you can’t know what those things are unless you listen.
Habit Six: Synergize
Interactions and teamwork are some of the most important ways you can learn new skills and more effective behaviors. To synergize is the habit of creative cooperation where you work as a team to find new solutions to existing problems. Synergy is not something which just happens but is a process where you need to bring all of your personal experiences and expertise to the table to enable more effective results than you would have been able to achieve individually – the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
When you have genuine interactions with people you are able to gain new insights and see new approaches to your problems which you would not have otherwise thought of.
How to synergize for effective frugality:
Look for new ways. In a society which has become so good at consumerism you have probably already realized that you need to find new ways of doing just about everything to be frugal. It is easy to buy your lunch every day but it is more frugal to take a packed lunch. It is easy to drive to work but it is more frugal to catch the train. It is easy to buy a new cocktail dress but it is more frugal to make one.
Surround yourself with other frugal people. To be successful surround yourself with people who are where you want to be and whether you join online forums on frugal living websites or strike up a friendship with the woman who runs your local op shop you will be able to share ideas and learn from others to be successful.
Habit Seven: Sharpen the Saw
You are the greatest asset you have on your journey to achieving the lifestyle you want and so you need to look after yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. When you take time to renew yourself in all four areas of your life you are creating growth and change which allow you to continue with the previous six habits you have mastered, which still need to be maintained to achieve success.
How to frugally renew yourself:
Physically. By eating better you will feel better and if you start your own vegetable patch for example you will be able to save at the supermarket and will be eating better at the same time. Exercising keeps you fit and healthy and it doesn’t cost you anything to go for a walk or bike ride or even skip rope in the backyard. To rest your body you don’t need to go to a day spa you can simply slide into the tub at home and relax.
Emotionally. Interacting socially with others allows you to make meaningful connections and this can come back to a conversation with the woman at the op shop or even scheduling in coffee and a chat with your mum once a week.
Mentally. Exercising and expanding your mind through learning, reading, writing and teaching can be done frugally at your local library or even by volunteering at a school or retirement home to teach others a skill you may be taking for granted.
Spiritually. Spending time close to nature to expand your spiritual self through meditation, music, art or prayer can be done frugally by taking a quiet moment to center yourself and empty your mind before you go to bed or going for a bush walk and being grateful for the beauty of nature surrounding you.
Frugality does not mean having to give up all the luxuries and things which make you happy because if you go through developing habits 1 to 6 without spending the time to renew yourself this is how you burn out, and frugality is something you want to develop and maintain for the long-term and with these seven habits you can be a highly frugal person.
Alban is a personal finance writer. He offer money savings tips and helps people to compare home loans online.
Tagged as: Frugality, Money Beliefs
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Subscribe! (and Get a Mini-Course Too!)
Please consider following me on twitter here! In addition, subscribe to grab free amazing content or take advantage of the newsletter to have content delivered to you. For starters, a 7-part mini course to help you spend less and be happy will be delivered to you when you subscribe!
(Don't worry about spam, because we hate it as much as you do!)
by GUEST CONTRIBUTOR · 332 COMMENTS
2764
Share
The book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has sold over 15 million copies since it was first published in 1989, teaching people all over the world how to live a happier, more successful and more satisfying life. One of the prevailing themes of the book is the fact that to change your life you need to change your attitude because no one else is responsible for what happens to you but you, so you can either complain about the things you don’t like in your life or you can set about changing them. Not surprisingly, this directly relates to the state of your finances.
If you are tired of living week to week, of having your phone regularly cut off or having to make excuses to skip dinners with your friends if the money has run out before the end of the month then you can use the seven habits of highly effective people to take control of your money situation and live a more frugal lifestyle, and a happier one.
Habit One: Be Proactive
The first habits of highly effective people is to take responsibility for your life, there is no one else to blame but yourself. Regardless of how you were raised or how you were treated at school you are able to choose your behavior now. Being proactive means understanding that you are in control of the direction your life takes and in control of your day to day interactions. Whereas a reactive person is often affected by their environment and will find external sources to blame for their behavior, for example if the weather is good they are in a good mood but if the weather is bad it affects their attitude and so the weather is to blame for their bad mood.
However what most people forget is that between the stimulus and your response is your freedom to choose your response, and one of the most important things you choose are your words. The language you use is an effective indication of how you see yourself and if you use proactive language such as ‘I can’ or ‘I will’ you are starting with a more positive attitude than a reactive person who uses language like ‘I can’t’ or ‘I have to’ or ‘if only…’
How to be proactive for effective frugality:
Take the first step. You cannot take control of your finances until you make the commitment to do so because the more you ignore the situation the worse it will get. Instead take a long hard look at your finances and your budget, your debts, income and expenses and understand where your money is going and where you can budget better.
Tell people. Using proactive language to vocalize your goal of being more frugal and more financially responsible not only helps you crystallize your goal but can also help you avoid the peer pressure which can make budgeting and frugality hard. If you explain to your friends and family how you are trying to live a more frugal lifestyle then they are less likely to pressure you into one more round of drinks at the pub or dinner out, again.
Listen. Listen to yourself and listen to the reasons you give each time you make a purchase outside of your budget or decide not to put those spare funds into your savings account. Taking the time to stop and listen to the reasons you give yourself for spending more than you earn will give you the opportunity to hear just how shallow many of those reasons are, and can stop you from making purchases which can impede your goal of effective frugality.
Habit Two: Begin with the End in Mind
Those who are effective in achieving their goals are able to envisage their end result despite the obstacles. Highly effective people adhere to this habit based on the principle that all things are created twice, there is the first mental creation and then the second physical creation, and the physical creation follows the mental creation in the same way as the building follows its blueprints.
If you don’t visualize what you want out of life then you are at risk of other people and external circumstances influencing your life because you are not influencing it yourself. Instead begin every day and every task with a clear vision of where you want to go and how you’re going to get there and make that vision a reality with your proactive skills from habit one.
How to visualize effective frugality:
Define your goal. There are many ways to live a frugal lifestyle and you need to decide on how frugal you want to be. Do you want to be debt free, do you want to build a savings account balance of a certain value or do you want to be able to live on one income in a two income household?
Decide how you’re going to get there. This will again draw on your budget, but you also need to be aware of the obstacles which are standing in your way. These may be literal obstacles such as credit card debts, or they may be obstacles you have identified in your behavior; for example are you spending $10 every day on junk food on your way home from work because you’re starving when you could be packing a two dollar muesli bar or a low GI lunch to keep you going until dinner. Or do you find that when you go shopping with your sister she always helps you justify a frivolous purchase when you could leave your credit card at home.
Habit Three: Put First Things First
Knowing why you are doing something is an effective motivator in helping you take the mental creation and transform that into an actual physical creation of your goal. Therefore ask yourself which are the things you find most valuable and worthy to you. When you put these things first you will be organizing and managing your time around your personal priorities to make them a reality.
However for many people it is hard to say no but this is exactly the skill you have to learn to be able to keep your goals as your first priority. While we have all of these time-saving devices and we are told we can have it all if we just achieve that elusive work-life balance in reality having it all is really about prioritizing which it is most important to you to have, and then doing that properly.
How to put effective frugality first:
Recognize the effects of your finances. You may not dedicate as much time as you should to managing your finances and practicing frugal principles because you feel there is always something more important to be doing, whether it is work, taking the kids to soccer practice or getting ready for dinner with the girls. However if your finances are not under control and you are regularly spending more than you earn then this is having a negative impact on every other aspect of your life from your work to your family to your friends. Therefore you need to recognize that being frugal is your first priority.
Just say no. It is easy to spend more than your budgeted amount each month when you are worried about missing out on a dinner with friends, feel as though you have to cater a birthday party for your son and 50 of his closest friends or you can’t possibly wear the same suit you wore last year to a work conference. However if you recognize that you don’t have to take on everything and that it is all right to say no then you will find you are more in control of your spending and your budget.
Habit Four: Think Win-Win
Growing up most of us are taught to base our self-worth on comparisons to others and competition against our peers. We think we can only succeed if someone else has failed and if you win then that must mean I lose, and that there is only so much pie to go around and if you get a big piece then I’m going to be missing out. When you think like this you are always going to feel like you’re missing out on something and that’s not fair is it? As a result many of us retaliate and take the pie before someone else can take it from us.
Thinking in a win-win mindset allows you to see mutual benefits from all of your interactions and as a result you will see that when you share the pie it tastes even better. If you are able to approach conflicts and problems with a win-win attitude then by showing integrity and standing up for your true feelings and values allows you to express your ideas and feelings with courage while having consideration for the feelings and ideas of others. When you focus on an abundance mentality you are able to see that there is enough for everyone and you can see that balancing your confidence with empathy you can achieve your goals while helping others achieve theirs.
How to create frugal win-win situations:
Recognize that you don’t always know the full story. As you aim to implement frugal principles and stick to a budget you may often find yourself thinking ‘it’s not fair’. It’s not fair that they get to go out to dinner it’s not fair that they get a new car it’s not fair that they get to go on holiday and I don’t. However take the time to realize that you are only seeing a small part of the finances of your friends and family who seem to ‘have it all’ and that even though your best friend is taking the European holiday which was your dream or your brother is buying a sports car before you are, if you manage your finances frugally you will get there too and there will still be plenty of holiday destinations and plenty of fast cars when you do.
Understand the difference between possessions and net worth. While your friends and family may seem to have a fuller lifestyle because their house is bigger or their car is newer you need to consider how much debt they are hiding behind those possessions. True wealth is not measured in possessions but in assets and when the value of your assets is greater than the amount you owe in mortgages, car loans and credit card debts then you have a strong net worth and are truly wealthy and in aiming to live a more effectively frugal lifestyle you will be able to achieve true wealth rather than just a life full of stuff.
Habit Five: Communication
Communication is often the desire to be heard and understood and most people will listen with the intention to reply to what you’re saying rather than to understand what you have said. However to effectively communicate you need to first understand and then be understood because if you communicate with the sole intention of being understood you can find that you ignore what others are saying and miss their meaning entirely.
How listening can help you be effectively frugal:
You are not the only person in your life. Chances are you are married, in a relationship, have children or all of the above. As a result you are not the only person being affected by your decision to live a more frugal lifestyle and to be effective in your goal of frugality you need to be able to listen to and understand the goals and behaviors of the other people in your life. For example consider how effective your frugality would be if you were taking packed lunches to work and avoiding the afternoon coffee run but your partner was still going shopping in their lunch break; instead of living a more frugal lifestyle you are just ending up with more stuff.
Understand the goals and needs of others. While it is important to explain your desire to live more frugal lifestyle, it is also important that you understand the goals and needs of your family so that you can find a way to be more frugal without them having to give up all of the things which are most important to them and you can’t know what those things are unless you listen.
Habit Six: Synergize
Interactions and teamwork are some of the most important ways you can learn new skills and more effective behaviors. To synergize is the habit of creative cooperation where you work as a team to find new solutions to existing problems. Synergy is not something which just happens but is a process where you need to bring all of your personal experiences and expertise to the table to enable more effective results than you would have been able to achieve individually – the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
When you have genuine interactions with people you are able to gain new insights and see new approaches to your problems which you would not have otherwise thought of.
How to synergize for effective frugality:
Look for new ways. In a society which has become so good at consumerism you have probably already realized that you need to find new ways of doing just about everything to be frugal. It is easy to buy your lunch every day but it is more frugal to take a packed lunch. It is easy to drive to work but it is more frugal to catch the train. It is easy to buy a new cocktail dress but it is more frugal to make one.
Surround yourself with other frugal people. To be successful surround yourself with people who are where you want to be and whether you join online forums on frugal living websites or strike up a friendship with the woman who runs your local op shop you will be able to share ideas and learn from others to be successful.
Habit Seven: Sharpen the Saw
You are the greatest asset you have on your journey to achieving the lifestyle you want and so you need to look after yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. When you take time to renew yourself in all four areas of your life you are creating growth and change which allow you to continue with the previous six habits you have mastered, which still need to be maintained to achieve success.
How to frugally renew yourself:
Physically. By eating better you will feel better and if you start your own vegetable patch for example you will be able to save at the supermarket and will be eating better at the same time. Exercising keeps you fit and healthy and it doesn’t cost you anything to go for a walk or bike ride or even skip rope in the backyard. To rest your body you don’t need to go to a day spa you can simply slide into the tub at home and relax.
Emotionally. Interacting socially with others allows you to make meaningful connections and this can come back to a conversation with the woman at the op shop or even scheduling in coffee and a chat with your mum once a week.
Mentally. Exercising and expanding your mind through learning, reading, writing and teaching can be done frugally at your local library or even by volunteering at a school or retirement home to teach others a skill you may be taking for granted.
Spiritually. Spending time close to nature to expand your spiritual self through meditation, music, art or prayer can be done frugally by taking a quiet moment to center yourself and empty your mind before you go to bed or going for a bush walk and being grateful for the beauty of nature surrounding you.
Frugality does not mean having to give up all the luxuries and things which make you happy because if you go through developing habits 1 to 6 without spending the time to renew yourself this is how you burn out, and frugality is something you want to develop and maintain for the long-term and with these seven habits you can be a highly frugal person.
Alban is a personal finance writer. He offer money savings tips and helps people to compare home loans online.
Tagged as: Frugality, Money Beliefs
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